Everyone has fears and sometimes they are not easy to get over. I have fears that I will never be able to get over like: spiders, insects/bugs, snakes, heights, sharks, etc…, but there are 4 fears that I ended up using to help me with everything I was dealing with.
Fear of Public Speaking
This is a big fear that many people have. You get in front of people and you start to sweat or start stuttering or do something you normally (on most cases) wouldn’t do. I was always afraid of public speaking because of my speech impediment. I didn’t sound like everyone else and that made people talk/whisper behind my back as if I didn’t know they were doing it. It wasn’t easy to get over. Every time a teacher called on me I’d start stuttering instantly. It wasn’t until my second year of college that I finally started using this as an advantage in a way. I took a public speaking class and I started talking about things that I’ve went through and a lot of people were so supportive of me doing that. They said I was a strong woman to be able to go in front of a class with people I barely know and talk about subjects that are so personal. That’s where I began to think that maybe I can use my voice in order to help people deal with problems that I’ve went through. I want to be able to use my voice to help in any way I possibly can.
2. Fear of Failure
Failure is something that used to give me very bad anxiety. When I got below a B, I would freak out. It made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, but I started to realize that I can’t be perfect. No one can be perfect. It is just not possible. So I embraced it every time I didn’t get the grade I wanted. It made me work harder. And it made me push myself. I love learning and failing gives me the chance, in a way, to keep on learning.
3. Fear of Rejection
Like failure, rejection is a big, and I mean a BIG fear of mine. I was rejected basically my whole life. Since I was a kid, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I was rejected at school and I was rejected by my own mother. Going through all the rejection that I went through, it made me really go into a deep sadness. And that sadness never went away. I started cutting myself, in order to put the way I felt on the inside on the outside. I was completely broken because I felt like I had nowhere to go in life, so I made my skin broken. In the end, I realized that everyone goes through rejection. It’s a part of life. It’s a part of growing up. It’s a part of finding out where you belong and who you truly are. All the doors that were shut in my face just opened new doors. I know now that those who rejected me, I wouldn’t even want them in my life right now. They are toxic people who only care about looks and about popularity, but not what’s on the inside. Don’t worry if someone doesn’t like you because if they don’t like you for you then you shouldn’t care about them.
4. Fear of Being Vulnerable In Front of The World
I grew up in a family where, like school, if you weren’t like them then they shun you. I was the joke of the family, or at least that’s how I fault. I needed help and during that time I found out I was beyond just mentally ill. My family acted liked they cared for a few weeks and then they acted like I was an alien. That’s how I felt my whole entire life. But I soon realized that by getting the help I desperately needed and that I deserved, I wasn’t disappointing anyone, despite what they thought. I deserve happiness, just like everyone else. It’s good to talk about what is going on and what needs to be done in order to get you to the place where you need to be for happiness to consume you. Don’t be ashamed of what you are going through because there are people who are going through the same things. Talking about it can help a lot.
Sometimes life turns out not exactly how you planned it, but in the end you will be okay. Just keep moving forward. Keep you head held high. And know that you are beautiful and you don’t deserve pain. You deserve happiness.